Dear Ashley,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm going Jet Skiing. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in your closet and I saw you knock out the Montreal Canadian’s goalie. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand that we’re related. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I hate your cooking and Your cucumber-collection is weird. With tears of sadness,
Dreamstar
I tag anyone who thought this was weird!
Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).(12),(Your name)
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m going jet skiing
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - My dad wants a word with you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2)Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my t-shirt
June - When you kicked me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you slapped me
September - Last year when you drooled in your sleep
October - When we tried to walk on water
November - When your dog bit my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the sunglasses off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the banana peel out of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your hair?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Blond - My cute, new purse
Orange - My Blink 182 CD
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - Lost
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other -shamed
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get hurt only when I fall
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford is ridiculous
Apathetic - That you need a life
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - So your driving is reckless
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from dinner last night
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy pajamas
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana t-shirt
9) The first letter of your first name [or name you primarily go by]?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your rude note
Y/Z - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet smile
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Can't stand your singing
O/P - Told my mom you pulled my hair
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – Am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm crying as you read this
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-collection is weird
Other – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the upcoming test
Egypt – Say good-bye
England - Go jump off a cliff
